Acrylis and dry pastels on raw canvas

170 cm x 120 cm

Once at a tantra weekend we were taught how to guard our power and energy and how could we not be drained by toxic vampires. I probably don’t need to explain who they are, I’d say everyone knows one, right? In the whole concept of learning, I discovered one key idea, crazy to some. But before I tell you, let me share something with you. 

Until then, it’s always been a huge problem for me. I blamed my discomfort on the fact that THEY were bad, toxic. My ego was gleefully dividing itself from the BAD Ones as if they were better and feeding on their value and power. In my head I always heard “I don’t understand how they can say this and that, that’s so ignorant, alibistic, desperate fill in the blanks…” But most of all, my ego fed on the thought: ” How can they allow this to happen to someone so righteous, conscientious, hardworking as me, still with a small child? After all, I do all this and yet they do this ?!” ( I have a pretty high opinion of myself, don’t I ? 🤣)

Except for, only I will suffer from this attitude and no one else. So I really wanted to do something about it. Because I am moving towards a joyful, peaceful, loving life. And this complaining about others definitely doesn’t belong there for me.

That’s why I started studying tantra. Which teaches me not only to love myself with all my heart, but also to love others. 

The key idea, for me, was the explanation that if we find ourselves in a situation where we are the target of toxic negative blasting, we don’t have to draw on our energy reserves to defend ourselves, but can let the energy of the cosmic divine flow through us, which is infinite (the opposite of the personal) and overwhelm the other party in love and compassion from “outside” sources. My soul was relieved, my ego weakened. And all these situations seem so much easier.